Ladybug and Cat Noir have a good rant
by anxresi
Summary: Ladybug and Cat Noir have just discovered that their second season has been delayed yet AGAIN, and it's just about the last straw for our superhero duo. So, they decide to break the fourth wall Deadpool-style, to address the fans.


Cat Noir and Ladybug swing into view now.

Ladybug: Hi fans!

Cat Noir: Hi Purr-incess!

Ladybug: I'm not your princess... or your purr-incess for that matter!

Cat Noir: My lady! I'm paws-sitively offended!

Ladybug: Listen, I am not here to engage in any lame cat puns today. What WE'RE here to do is take down the biggest bunch of liars since the girl we fought together in the season 1 finale...

Cat Noir... Oh, you mean Lila?

Ladybug: (Snarling) Yeah, her. But these fools make that Italian minx seem like a rank amateur in comparison to the untruths she spread...

Cat Noir: (Starts eating popcorn) Go on...

Ladybug: I'm talking about an unscrupulous couple of Frenchmen who say they'll broadcast a hour-long musical Christmas Special full of romance, action and new revelations about your missing mother, the Turtle Miraculous and Master Fu...

Cat Noir: But that's not what happened, right? Wait... how do you know about my mother?

Ladybug: It's okay 'Adrien', this isn't canon. Also, you are correct. It was actually less than half-an-hour, mostly filler with no real 'shocks' other than your awful singing, a brief portrait of Mrs Agreste towards the end and, get this: the main attraction was a 'dabbing Santa'!

Cat Noir: Wow. Sounds kinda lame. Even more painful than my feline puns.

Ladybug: I wouldn't go that far, but the fanbase mostly wasn't amused. Even the ones who said 'they liked it' did so through gritted teeth. But surely it didn't matter, though... because they still had lots to look forward to, including new webisodes every single week in the new year, plus season 2 starting in the summer, after season 1 already finished airing nearly a year ago! Things were looking very good indeed...

Cat Noir: (Sounding doubtful) I'm sorta guessing the reason we're here today is that things didn't quite work out that way...

Ladybug: BINGO! The wise-cracking pussy with the glowing green eyes gets ten points! The webisodes, already postponed twice from Fall to Winter to the New Year, ended up being the most cheaply animated two minute borefests you're ever likely to see. Also, it's nearly the end of March now, and only FOUR... count them... FOUR have been dubbed. Plus, you can't even watch them if you live outside the USA.

Cat Noir: What a rip-off. But, who cares? I mean, the webisodes are just a fan project, right? The REAL meat 'n' bones of the series is the TV show... and there's just a couple more months until we're back purifying akumas, thwarting Hawkmoth, finding out each others identities, smooching up a storm...

Ladybug: In your dreams, Romeo! First, it was announced that the next 52 episodes will be airing on Netflix exclusively, so if you don't want to pay the subscription fee, you're screwed. Then, just like with the webisodes, the date of transmission has been changed more often than my in-show wardrobe... not an impressive feat, admittedly. First it was May, then June... now, apparently the fans have to wait until at least Fall to watch us again. Who knows, by the time Summer has been and gone, we might be looking at 2018 as the second season premier date! There's taking liberties... and then there's this!

Cat Noir: Not that I'm one to defend fibbers, but perhaps the reason why they're taking so long to do the second season is because they want it to be the best they can possibly make it? Shouldn't we believe them when they say 'It'll be worth the wait'?

Ladybug: That excuse is running thinner than Chloe during a marathon when she's starved herself for a month to maintain her 'perfect figure'. First of all, they said the same thing about the not-so-special Christmas Special, and look how that turned out. Also, can you think of another show, animated or not, where the premier date has been delayed as often as this one? I doubt it. It's gotten so bad they've even put the Miraculous MOVIE back a full two years after it was initially announced. This kind of shambles is not only an insult to their fans, it's also shows what a crummy company they are.

Cat Noir: ...Err, who are we talking about again?

Ladybug: Why, Jeremy Zag and Thomas Astruc, of course! I hate to rag on the people who bought me to life, but it's true! Their conduct throughout all of this has been shameful, with far more attention set on the many items of merchandise flooding the market than making sure the TV show is good enough, and here on time! Can you believe, they're even going to release spotted Ladybug UNDERWEAR now?

Cat Noir... Uh huh. (Unsure what to say in response to that, without coming across as a total perv)

Ladybug: Well, they'll learn their lesson the hard way. After all, kids attention spans are fickle... and if they leave the TV show to rot for much longer, no-one's going to want to buy any Tikki Tacos or Plagg Plushies, they'll move onto new shows that actually transmit when they say they will, and might even be better than ours. Like Ducktales, for instance...

Cat Noir: Ducktales? WHOO-HOO!

Ladybug: I see we're familiar with the original theme tune. Anyway, back to our show, it's gotten to the point where I'm ashamed to even have my name attached to such a duplicious enterprise... So we're going down to Zag Animation to teach those two con-artists a lesson they won't forget. Are you coming?

Cat Noir: Sure! But, uh... which is which?

Ladybug: (sighs) One is tubby with a beard and runs a very popular Twitter account, and the other is skinny, unshaven and runs a very popular Instagram account. They can both be found laughing in a huge heap of money at the blithe naivety of the devoted fans, while smoking unwrapped cigars...

Cat Noir (unsure) Er... Are we still talking about Ducktales?

Ladybug: Nope. Scrooge McDuck is nowhere near as greedy as these posers, and they wouldn't allow smoking in a Disney show, anyway. So, shall we go? Remember, though... Fatty is MINE!

Cat Noir: O-Okay. Don't worry about Jeremy or Thomas, folks, I'll see if I can calm Ladybug down. Maybe we can just give them Chinese burns, or something. See ya later, fans. Though the way things are going, who knows when...

...

(As our superheroes fade into the distance, our authoress stifles a giggle. she's aware that she might lose followers or get hate mail for what she's written, but frankly she doesn't care. Everything above is strictly HER opinion, and nothing is going to change that)


End file.
